Fitness and Fits.

The weekend was enjoyable. On Friday evening we decided it would be a good idea to have a few drinks at the Wohnheim. We then got a few beers in from Real and of course, a cheeky bit of that dangerous spirit. Jägermeister. It was good to get a bunch of the interns together and hear about everyone’s different experiences. Here is some vocabulary that I used on the night.

21 Essential German Party Phrases

hast du heute Abend schon etwas vor?
up to much tonight?

könnten mal etwas irgendwo trinken?
we could go and get a drink somewhere?

kommst du heute Abend zum Party?
are you up for getting battered tonight?

dann sag mir Bescheid, ob du zum Real mitfahren willst
let me know if you want a lift to Real (big supermarket with even bigger deals)

weiß noch nicht
not sure yet

muss mal schauen
we’ll have to see

hast du Bock?
are you up for it? (lit. do you have a goat)

ich wollte mal Samstag in der früh ‘ne Runde Sport oder so machen
I was sort of thinking I’d get some sport done on Saturday morning.

naja aber bist du dabei für ein Bier?
yeah but are you up for a beer?

auf gar keinen Fall
NO!

auf keinen Fall
definitley not

vielleicht
maybe

kann sein
potentially

auf jeden Fall
definitely

AKTION! Jägermeister 9,99€
DISCOUNT! Very strong traditional spirit only 8 pounds sterling

du warst total fertig Marcus!
Marcus you were completely finished!

keine Sorge
no worries

kann passieren
it can happen

weißt du was das schlimmste ist?
and you know what the worst thing is?

ich hab’ so einen schlechten Kater
I’ve got such a bad hangover

…und ich muss heute auch ein bisschen Training machen
…and I still need to do some sport today

Saturday was spent mainly lounging around, and teaching one of the natives how we Brits are able to cure a hangover. That’s right, I’m of course referring to God’s greatest gift to cuisine; the hearty English breakfast. I switched theme in the evening to blend in with the Europeans and we opted for pizza in Stiglmaier Platz with Esperanza, Niklas and Nath.

Having neglected excercise in recent months in the pursuit of beer-related activities, I finally decided on Sunday morning it was time to start running off the Oktoberfest belly that I have acquired in the name of “cultural integration”. What better way to kick start a fitness regime with a really unrealistic goal: a triathlon in the Olympic Park! It was of course the appropriate moment to don the London2012 Games Maker shoes – the Olympic spirit lives on. It ended up being a sort of mini-triathlon and thankfully I didn’t bother to measure time spent or distance covered. All I knew was that I was completely ruined afterwards because I kept doing each part until I was well and truly shattered. It’s currently Wednesday afternoon and my legs still haven’t recovered from the beating. The highlight was finishing with a 1.2km swim which was the most I think I have ever swum. I have also discovered that instead of paying 4€ every time like JR has been doing for the past 5 months, it is actually possible to get a Student Pass which is valid for 6 months and only costs 15€. Deal!

On Monday evening like some sort of Channel4 missionary/4OD Jesuit, I introduced Ingo and Rémi to Peep Show. One of the greatest of British TV and a knew series is back on UK screens this Sunday. They understood, enjoyed and most important of all, appreciated the humour. Watching it with them I felt like I was watching it again for the first time.  Although both are more than competent in terms of English, it really highlighted to me so many British words that can’t be easily translated into German or French. And also how much difficulty I would have translating them into French. They reckon that Mark Corrigan is stereotypically British, which had never really occurred to me, but I suppose he is.

On Tuesday I went home and had finished doing my washing, just like any normal Tuesday. When suddenly, out of nowhere, I heard a massive crash. It sounded like someone had poured out the contents of a kitchen out into the landing. At the time I thought it couldn’t be anything serious and part of me was tempted not to check what it was. Until everything went quiet. That was when I knew something wasn’t right. As I made my way upstairs, a spoon came hurtling towards me from above, ricocheting off the railings. I cautiously followed a trail of smashed pieces of plate, with a newfound suspicion for airborne cutlery and crockery. I felt much like Hansel only without Grethel and in a sort of IKEA setting, rather than a woodland trail. Not that they enjoying a weekend in Centreparcs, they obviously had a serious job to do.

There was a bit of commotion and I noticed a bloke completely still lying on the stairs. He was definitely not in a good way. As I took out my phone to ring 112, I noticed that someone else was already speaking with the Emergency Services. All of a sudden the chap that lay still on the floor started having what looked like an epileptic fit. He entered several different episodes, going in and out of consciousness. After around ten minutes, it was apparent that the Paramedics were on their way. Just before they arrived, the man in question picked himself up off the floor and started walking upstairs. Whilst trying to get him to take it easy, we chatted to him about what had happened and he thanked us for our help etc. We then promtply advised him to take a few minutes to rest whilst we got him some water. The patient was of a thin build but was nevertheless at least 6’6″ and weighed a fair amount. At this point the two hundred centimetre tall guy looked blank in the face and fainted. We were only just able to catch him before he hit the ground. Then I decided he needed to be moved to a more secure facility, so that the Paramedics could analyse his situation more easily.  I took a knee and gave some brief orders. Since my bedroom was the closest, we proceeded to evacuate him to my room and laid him on the bed.

By this time his mate had been informed of the situation and came rushing in. As he then sat on the bed and checked if his friend was ok, it became apparent that he was also not in a great way either! It did look extremely suspicious. To the untrained eye, you would have thought that these boys were both high as kites.

Because of patient privacy, I was then advised to leave my own apartment by paramedics as they tended to the patients. I was then given the order to collect the Notarzt. Think Mary Poppins but with fewer umbrellas and more fully equipped BMW X1. I heard the sirens get louder and started to think about any lessons lectures or seminars even vaguely related to Emergencies.

Afterwards when the paramedics and Notartz had left, we had a chat with the two men in question. Partly to make sure they were ok and partly to make sure we never smoked what they were smoking. I did of course what any stoic Brit would have done and supplied a steady stream of superficial jokes to ease the tension. The first patient turned out to be a professional basketballer and explained that he was 100% against smoking of all varieties, apart from shisha, he said, which was just to relax him.  They confessed they had been smoking on a shisha pipe for four hours upstairs together with his mate and had been on his return journey to his room on the ground floor.

Despite the medical dramas, it was a good week and I look forward to Stammtisch tonight.

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